Miss Lyndsay Lane,
It’s been quite some time since I’ve written you. Last was actually November 14th, 6 short days before the births of our amazing little men, Cade and Collin. And while my heart has had a million things to say, there has been very little time lately to say much of anything. This house really did get crazy huh? In a VERY good way. I’ll never regret a second of our life now nor our journey to the here… and the now. We’ve made memories that will last a lifetime - the most incredible memories I’ll ever have or ever share with anyone.
I met you first here on this computer screen - the very one I stare at now as I write. You’re upstairs with our precious little ones, Meleia and the boys. I’m missing you. Even here at home when I’m not in the same room, I miss you. I could never imagine this house without you Lyndsay. I cant imagine these walls enclosing emptiness; I love the sounds that fill this magical place - babies crying, you vacuuming and Meleia singing (even the bat in the wall). And I guess if the day does come that these sounds cease, I’ll cease as well; I’ll freeze in a memory of ours while going through the rest of my life blankly.
Unfortunately we have come to a time that can make or break us. I do pray that there is something left. I pray we still see the same and dream the same and love the same as we have from day one. Surely there will be times that we disagree, times that we argue and times that we might even want to give up. Family will still interfere and even be the cause as now. And when someone causes me to be as upset as I am I would hope that you would be by my side. I need you to be my understanding one because everything I do - my every action - is based on the success of US.
Together we had one hell of a year. And together we ended it perfectly with the new lives of Cade and Collin followed by a blessed Christmas. We rang in the new year with new dreams and new joy in our hearts.
If you leave you already know you will not leave here in any financial desperation. This I promise you.
If you stay I’m still here loving you. You can stay right here with me of course - you, MJ and the twins are all I live for. Everyone knows this that knows us.
I’m sorry I put the finishing touches on the Cavalier with yet another Deer. That started the weekend off nicely. A perfect ride home Friday night from work after a long, long week can really help situations huh? ugh.
It’s very GOOD to be alive still.
I know why
I cry like I cry
you know I’ve nowhere to go
without you.
and baby it’s simple
you and I
it’s rough
and so hard sometimes
baby don’t let go
you know I could go on forever
stop the world and step off the edge
with you.
and baby don’t make me cry
keep me alive inside your heart
just another day may
be all we need
baby you know what I need
can’t seem to breathe
when you’re not around
when I’m without your everything -
all over me
you’re all over me sometimes
can you live without me
can you see without my eyes
can you live without my love
no baby I can’t see a thing
without you.
and I know why
I cry like I cry
you know I’ve nowhere to go
without you.
